sometimes there's just no better alternative

The Perfect Man (Erica Jong)

The perfect man – for any woman – is the man who loves her constantly and fucks her frequently, passionately, and well; who adores and admires her; is at once reliable and exciting; an earthly Adonis and a heavenly father figure; a beautiful son, a steady daddy; a wild-eyed Bacchic lover and a calm, sober, but still funny friend. Can you find all these attributes in one man? Not bloody likely! And if you find them, will they endure for the various passages of your life? Not bloody likely.

Do we find him? Or do we train him? Do we grow him in our gardens or import him from the moon? And if we find him, will he go mad at twenty-five or into a depression at thirty, or wind up fucking baby-sitters at forty? Can we love him without coddling him? Can we make demands on him without being left? Can we find a balance between giving and taking? Can we receive as graciously as we give?

The perfect man is, after all, the one who sees the best in you and who holds you to your own beau ideal even when you waver. Because he loves both who you are and what you can become, his vision helps you become more truly yourself. As you grow sure of yourself in his love, you generously mirror his best self as well.

The perfect man transforms the perfect woman. They know each other by their willingness to be transformed.

I'd like to think I'm one of those strong women who have healed themselves and are now 'full of a deeper life'

"I had seen so many women emotionally knocked off their feet by a divorce. There were a few who did not recover, in the sense that they sank into permanent chronic bitterness or depression... But most women were remarkably strong... those who healed themselves were full of a deeper life afterward." 

-Elizabeth Kostova, The Swan Thieves